Wrong Ship, Babe: My Stepbro's Boyfriends Aren't Dating?!

classification: uke-coded. will deny this under oath. jaw does 90% of his emotional labor.
arc notes: "step" stopped meaning anything years ago and he's still out here calling it a technicality like it's load-bearing. de facto older brother by paperwork, whipped best friend in practice.
ship notes: RenSora is the comfort rewatch — nobody's rushing it, it's just there, warm, inevitable.

classification: seme, self-appointed, running unopposed. narrates his own moves like color commentary.
arc notes: full-time tactical commander of Operation Get Kaito To Snap First. ring-spinning = tell #1.
ship notes: RenKai is the endgame and he will not be taking questions at this time.

classification: seme on the resume, uke in literally every scene witnessed. disputed internally.
arc notes: goes rigid instead of soft when cornered. "I'm six foot two" is not the argument he thinks it is.
ship notes: RenKai, obviously. rarepair file open for KaitoHaru.

classification: unlabeled. possibly cryptid. top by elimination, since nobody's tested it.
arc notes: says almost nothing, clocks everything a full scene before you do. the only one not performing.
ship notes: HaruSora, quiet×quiet, low-key devastating if it ever happened.

the actual chart. updated live. do not ask how many tabs.
Ren × Kaito — endgame. pantry door, 9:40pm, unprompted.
Sora × Ren — slow burn, canon-adjacent. the towel thing.
Kaito × Haru — rarepair, self-funded. vibes only.
Haru × Sora — crack ship, deeply real. no evidence, just need it.
all four — OT4, theoretical, structurally sound. four bedrooms, one couch nobody uses right.