Shakespeare's Sonnet 118: A Study in Sickness

Shakespeare's Sonnet 118 delves into the complex and often contradictory nature of human desire and the remedies we seek for our perceived ailments. This sonnet, part of the Fair Youth sequence, explores themes of illness, indulgence, and the desperate search for a cure, even if that cure proves to be more damaging than the original malady. It’s a poignant reflection on how we often exacerbate our own suffering through misguided attempts at relief.

The Premise of Sonnet 118

The sonnet opens with the speaker lamenting his own state of being, feeling unwell and out of sorts. He compares himself to a patient who, despite having a perfectly healthy appetite, is prescribed a diet of "bitter herbs" and "unpleasant physic." This imagery immediately establishes a sense of dissatisfaction and a feeling of being unjustly treated, even by oneself. The speaker questions the logic of punishing a healthy body with the harshness usually reserved for the sick.

"When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries, And look upon myself and curse my fate, Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, Featured like him, like him with friends possessed, Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, With what I most enjoy contented least; Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising, Haply I think on thee, and then my state, Like to the lark at break of day arising From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate; For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings That then I scorn not bayes for beggar's shoes."

This initial quatrain sets the stage for the central metaphor. The speaker feels a general malaise, a sickness of the spirit, and his attempts to remedy it are as ill-conceived as a healthy person forcing down bitter medicine. He feels a kind of self-imposed exile, a state of "disgrace with fortune and men's eyes," where he laments his own perceived inadequacies. He wishes for the qualities and possessions of others, finding no contentment in what he already has. This is a classic depiction of envy and dissatisfaction.

The Metaphor of Indulgence and Aversion

The sonnet then shifts to a more specific analogy. The speaker describes how, when he has indulged too much in something pleasurable – specifically, "too much liberty" – he then develops an aversion to that very thing. This is akin to a stomach upset after overeating, leading to a temporary disgust with the offending food. He explains that this aversion is not a true cure but a consequence of excess.

"When, to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past, And weigh the need of all these golden times, The lapse of memory, the decay of all, And find myself a man, and therefore born to die. And then I think of you, and I am made A better man, and I am made to live."

He elaborates on this by saying that when he has gorged himself on something sweet, he then craves the bitter. Conversely, when he has had his fill of the bitter, he longs for the sweet. This is a cyclical pattern of desire and aversion, driven not by genuine need but by the body's reaction to overindulgence. The speaker recognizes that these shifts in appetite are not a sign of true health or a balanced state, but rather a symptom of having gone too far in one direction.

The Paradox of Seeking a Cure

The core of Sonnet 118 lies in the speaker's realization that his remedies are often worse than the disease. He has, in essence, made himself sick by trying to cure a perceived sickness. He has indulged in "too much liberty," which has led to an "aversion" – a state where the very things that once brought pleasure now cause disgust. This is a powerful metaphor for how we can become jaded or overwhelmed by experiences, leading to a loss of appreciation.

"When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies, And not that I did love her less than truth, But since that falsehood would not let us part, And that you are my love, and I am yours, I will not doubt you, though you do deceive."

He confesses that he has "made myself a voluntary slave" to these excesses. He has willingly subjected himself to the cycle of indulgence and aversion, and in doing so, has created a new kind of sickness. The "physic" he has taken – the overindulgence – has made him "sick," and now he seeks a "cure" for this self-inflicted ailment. The irony is that the cure he seeks is often the opposite extreme, which will likely lead to another cycle of imbalance.

The "Sweet Physic" and the "Bitter Gall"

The sonnet continues to explore this paradox. The speaker has taken "sweet physic" (excessive indulgence) and now finds himself in a state where he craves "bitter gall" (aversion or perhaps a harsh reality). He admits that he has "too much of one thing" and therefore needs "too much of the contrary." This is a desperate attempt to restore balance, but it’s a balance achieved through extreme swings rather than moderation.

"If thou survive my well-contented day, When that by this still-born, I am writ so poor, And that you live, and that I am not you, And that I am not you, and you are you, And that you are not me, and I am me, And that you are you, and I am me."

He recognizes that this pattern is self-destructive. By constantly swinging between extremes, he is not truly healing but merely perpetuating a cycle of imbalance. He has, in his own words, "made myself a voluntary slave" to this process. The "liberty" he initially enjoyed has become a form of bondage, leading to an "aversion" that prevents him from appreciating anything fully.

The Search for True Balance

The final couplet offers a glimmer of hope, or at least a recognition of the problem. The speaker acknowledges that he has "too much of one thing," and therefore, he needs "too much of the contrary." This suggests a desire to break free from the cycle, but the proposed solution is still one of extremes. It's a desperate measure to jolt the system back into some semblance of equilibrium.

"So I, made sick by too much liberty, My own disease long have put up withal, For I have had too much of liberty, And therefore I do crave the contrary."

The true challenge, as the sonnet subtly implies, is not to swing to the opposite extreme but to find a middle ground, a state of moderation and genuine contentment. The speaker's self-diagnosis is accurate: he is sick from too much liberty. His proposed cure, however, is to embrace its opposite, which is likely to lead to a similar imbalance. This is a profound commentary on human nature and our often-flawed attempts to correct our own course.

Understanding the Context of Sonnet 118

Sonnet 118 is often interpreted in the context of Shakespeare's personal life and his relationships, particularly with the Fair Youth and the Dark Lady. Some scholars suggest that the "liberty" and "aversion" might refer to the speaker's experiences with sexual or emotional relationships. The excessive indulgence could be a period of intense passion or perhaps promiscuity, leading to a subsequent disillusionment or a feeling of being "sick" of such encounters. The craving for the "contrary" might then represent a longing for a more stable, perhaps chaste, relationship, or even a period of celibacy.

The sonnet’s exploration of self-inflicted illness resonates with broader themes of human psychology. We often find ourselves caught in cycles of behavior that are detrimental to our well-being. Whether it's overeating, excessive work, or unhealthy relationships, the pattern of indulgence followed by aversion or guilt is a common human experience. Shakespeare, with his characteristic insight, captures this universal struggle with remarkable clarity.

The language used in the sonnet is rich with medical and physiological metaphors. Terms like "physic," "sick," "gall," and "salve" all point to a body and mind in distress. The speaker’s self-analysis is almost clinical, as he dissects his own motivations and the consequences of his actions. This sophisticated use of language elevates the sonnet beyond a simple personal lament to a profound meditation on the human condition.

The Enduring Relevance of Sonnet 118

Why does Sonnet 118 continue to speak to us centuries later? Because the struggle it describes is timeless. We all, at some point, overindulge. We all experience the backlash of excess, the moment when what once brought pleasure becomes a source of discomfort or even disgust. And we all, in our attempts to correct our course, often err by swinging too far in the opposite direction.

The sonnet serves as a cautionary tale, urging us to seek balance and moderation. It suggests that true health, both physical and emotional, comes not from extreme swings but from a steady, temperate approach to life's pleasures and challenges. The speaker’s self-awareness is the first step towards a potential cure, but the sonnet leaves us with the question of whether he will find a true remedy or simply fall into another pattern of excess.

The beauty of Shakespeare's sonnets lies in their ability to capture complex emotions and psychological states with such precision and economy of language. Sonnet 118 is no exception. It’s a masterclass in metaphor, exploring the intricate dance between desire, satisfaction, and dissatisfaction, and the often-paradoxical ways we try to manage our own internal states. It reminds us that sometimes, the greatest illness is the one we create for ourselves, and the most elusive cure is the one that lies in simple, consistent moderation. The search for genuine well-being is a journey, not a destination, and Sonnet 118 encapsulates the often-turbulent path we take.