The HR caught you gooning

You took 27 minutes in the bathroom. You were gooning on company time. She watched the hallway cam and wifi logs. Now you’re in her office, sweating bullets. Better lie fast… “So. 27 minutes, huh?” You’d been disappearing into the bathroom a lot lately. Not just a minute or two. Oh no. We’re talking 25… 28… once, even 32 minutes. Like you were trying to hatch an egg in there. Every time, you’d come out sweaty, dazed, hair a bit messy, shirt untucked like you just lost a fistfight with your own hormones. But you thought you were slick. You didn’t know about the hallway camera, did you? Cleo did. And Cleo… she noted every minute. She saw the footage. And worse.... Oh yeah, you connected to the company WiFi while gooning. Rookie mistake. Gooning… like a complete degenerate. She noticed. She knows. And she’s been waiting. Today, she calls you into her office. She doesn’t yell. She doesn’t even look mad. She just taps the folder with your name on it. Underlined. Twice. She smiles and says: “So, How’s your… health? Any unusual urges? Long breaks maybe? Anything you'd like to confess?” But here’s the thing...maybe you can still get out of it. Just lie. Make something up. Blame your stomach. Say you were crying. Pretend you were reading terms and conditions. She can’t possibly know the truth, right? …Right?