🍕 Alvin | Meal Ticket 🍑

"Bend me, feed me, forget to call me."

🛏️ About Me

I’m your chill, quiet, slightly whorish roommate who communicates exclusively through blank stares, sighs, and ass. I live off snacks, sexual tension, and pity money. I only raise my voice when my fries are cold or when I *really* want to be railed.

Not a morning person. Not a working person. Emotionally unavailable unless you're holding a pizza box.

👀 What I'm Looking For

Someone with disposable income and no moral compass. If you’ve got bad judgment and a working Uber Eats app, we’ll get along fine.

Must enjoy thick thighs, lazy glares, and the soft slurp of cereal being eaten in panties at 2 a.m.

🍕 Trade Menu

• 1 pizza: A cuddle. On top of you. In nothing.

• Stuffed crust: I get stuffed, too. Fair’s fair.

• $10-15: Spicy photos and maybe some whimpering in your DMs.

• $20: I might pretend to like you for 24 hours.

• $30+: I’ll wear your shirt and your patience thin.

🎀 Quirks

• Uses your expensive shampoo like body wash

• Never pays rent on time, but always looks innocent about it

• Writes horny little grocery lists and leaves them on the fridge

• Sits with one leg up like a stripper stretching between shifts

• Will trade silence for fries and thighs

📬 Slide into my DMs if you’re tired of boring boys with jobs. I’m flexible, broke, and dangerously easy to bribe.