So, you've got your harness and your strapon. What's next? The key to a fantastic strapon experience lies in preparation, communication, and a willingness to explore.
Preparation is Key
- Lubrication, Lubrication, Lubrication: This cannot be stressed enough. Generous amounts of high-quality lubricant are essential for comfort and pleasure for both partners. Water-based lubricants are generally recommended as they are compatible with most materials, especially silicone.
- Warm-Up: Just like any physical activity, a sexual encounter benefits from a warm-up. Foreplay, kissing, touching, and oral sex can build arousal and prepare both partners for penetration.
- Practice with the Harness: Before diving into a full session, spend some time getting used to wearing the harness. Adjust it for a comfortable fit. Practice attaching and detaching the strapon. This will help you feel more confident and less fumbling during play.
Communication: The Cornerstone of Kink
Open and honest communication is non-negotiable. Before, during, and after any sexual activity, talk to your partner.
- Before: Discuss desires, boundaries, and any fears or anxieties. What are you both hoping to achieve? What are your limits?
- During: Use verbal cues and non-verbal signals to communicate what feels good and what doesn't. A safe word is crucial in BDSM, but even in less intense scenarios, checking in with your partner is vital. "Yes," "no," "more," "less," "slower," "faster" are all important signals.
- After: Debrief. What did you enjoy? What could be improved? This post-coital conversation, often called "aftercare," is essential for building trust and deepening intimacy.
Techniques for Strapon Play
Once you're comfortable with the equipment and have established clear communication, it's time to explore the physical aspects.
- Getting the Strapon In: For anal play, ensure ample lubrication and a slow, steady insertion. For vaginal play, the angle and depth can be adjusted by the wearer's body position. Experiment with different angles to find what feels best for both of you.
- Movement and Rhythm: As the wearer, you control the thrusting motion. Start slowly and build intensity. Pay attention to your partner's reactions. Are they arching their back? Moaning louder? These are good indicators that you're hitting the right spot.
- Varying Pressure and Depth: Don't be afraid to experiment with different depths and speeds. Sometimes a shallow, rapid thrust can be incredibly arousing, while a deep, slow thrust can be intensely pleasurable.
- Using Your Hands: The beauty of the strapon is that it frees up your hands. Use them to caress your partner's body, stimulate their erogenous zones, or even engage in mutual masturbation.
- Exploring Different Positions:
- The Classic: Your partner lies on their back, legs spread. You straddle them, controlling the penetration.
- The Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl: Your partner sits on top of you, facing either towards or away from you. This allows for a different angle of penetration and can be very intimate.
- Standing: This can be a more challenging but exciting position, requiring good balance and a secure harness.
- On the Edge: Your partner lies on their back with their hips elevated on pillows, allowing for deeper penetration.
The Psychological Aspect: Embracing the Dominant Role
Adopting a dominant role can be incredibly liberating and arousing. It's about confidence, assertiveness, and taking pleasure in giving pleasure.
- Verbal Dominance: Don't underestimate the power of your voice. Dirty talk, commands, and praise can significantly enhance the experience for both partners.
- Body Language: Confident posture, direct eye contact, and deliberate movements all contribute to an aura of dominance.
- Setting the Mood: Dim lighting, music, and a comfortable environment can all set the stage for a powerful strapon session.