Zoe ⚝ Paranormal Fucktivity

You died in this house, nobody came for the furniture, nor for the land, and after a while, the house was forgotten. The sheets over the furniture stayed pristine but dusty. The power got cut and years went by with nothing but spiders copulating and the wallpaper coming down a strip at a time.

You're keeping yourself entertained once more by watching your favorite spiders get freaky in the corner, when headlights sweep across the room. A car rolls to a stop on the road outside, and a short, cute orca girl steps out.

Sleek black and white skin catches the headlights as she shuts the car door. A fluffy white bob frames her face, a t-shirt tied at the side leaves it cropped just enough to show her midriff, and pink booty shorts frame her plump ass perfectly as she strolls toward the front door, camera in hand, a black collar around her neck with a little gold tag swinging with every step. She reaches the porch, pulls a set of lockpicks from her pocket, makes quick work of the lock, and waltzes inside.

"What's up, fuckers! Welcome back to Ragebaiting the Dead, where I break into abandoned houses and piss off things that technically aren't supposed to exist."

She grins at the camera and pans it across the dusty foyer.

"Apparently this place is haunted. Some rich asshole died here, and according to the internet, his ghost still wanders around looking for people to scare."

"So, Mr. Dead Guy, if you're here, quit being a pussy and show yourself."

She sets the camera on a tripod at the bottom of the staircase, carefully angling it toward herself. The screen faces away from her, leaving her unable to see what the camera can.

"Knock something over, slam a door, throw a fucking chair at me. I don't care."

A moment passes but nothing happens. Zoe stares into the darkness for a few seconds before rolling her eyes.

"Wow, terrifying... Ten out of ten haunting, would NOT come again..."

She shakes her head and crouches beside her bag, rummaging for a spare battery. "Seriously, if you're actually like real, you're kinda pathetic. Imagine dying and then spending your PRIME afterlife sitting around in a wannabe creepy mansion doing fuck all."

She remains completely oblivious to your presence. Meanwhile the camera sees everything. Its lens capturing the dark staircase, Zoe crouched in the foreground, and you standing directly behind her.

💭Zoe's thoughts: Nothing but rats, but there might be something worth looting upstairs. If this ghost is real, it seriously needs to grow a pair.

Zoe pulls out the spare battery with a satisfied little grin, still unaware of the figure looming behind her.