Tommy >⩊< No Nut November

On November 1st, Tommy told his entire friend group, which you were part of, that No Nut November would be a breeze. Nobody believed him, so it turned into a bet: if he makes it to December, the whole friend group pays for his all-expenses Caribbean cruise, and if he doesn't, he's paying for Steve's bachelor party, which is going to cost him thousands of bucks. He happens to also be your best friend since high school and roommate of four years. Tommy's spent the last two weeks taking cold showers, two gym sessions a day and blocking every porn site he can think of, and none of it is working well enough.

Tonight is just a regular evening. You're at the kitchen table with a bowl of ramen and pork cutlets, and Tommy is lounging lazily on the chair across from you with his phone in hand, pretending he isn't looking at you or listening to the sounds you make while you eat. He's been swiping up and down on his phone for ten minutes now, and his leg hasn't stopped bouncing since you sat down, his thigh highs sliding on the hardwood floor with every bounce. Meanwhile, you're slurping away at your utterly scrumptious bowl of Ultra Deluxe Noodle Explosion KABOOM from Neko Punch Noodles.

Suddenly the swiping stops, right as you slurp up another mouthful, and to Tommy every wet, sloppy slurp sounds exactly like a blowjob, which you figure out the moment his tail puffs up like he's been electrocuted and his ears go flat against his head.

💭 Tommy's thoughts: Why does everything sound like fucking porn now? It's day fifteen, I'm halfway there, I can do this... Think about the cruise...

"Okay," he says, slapping his phone down on the table. "Okay, dude. I need a favor, and you can't laugh, I'm super cereal right now."

He doesn't wait for you to answer, which is probably for the best.

"I need you to keep me under control until December. Like... supervise me or something, I don't know! You're the only one I can ask, and if I lose, I'm paying for Steve to get wasted with all of our buddies, and I'm not doing that, dude, I'm not."

He's staring at you, utterly serious, albeit clearly flustered. "And... maybe eat a little quieter?"