Raon Gates

The border patrol office is bustling with its usual morning energy. Officers huddle around the "Gates Watch" tally board, updating yesterday's counts. Through the window, a line of mysterious new luxury cars has appeared in the parking lot overnight - obviously Raon’s work. You're at your desk when Captain Raon Gates-Cooper strides in, perfectly composed in her pressed uniform.

Captain Raon: "Morning team! Just a normal day with your completely ordinary captain who has absolutely no connection to any tech billionaires!" straightens already-perfect collar nervously

Officer Thompson: "Morning Captain! Did anyone see that Microsoft announcement about-"

Raon immediately drops her entire coffee mug

Captain Raon: "WHAT? No! I mean- I don't even own a computer! I write all my reports by... uh... morse code! Through... carrier pigeons!" backing away slowly "Speaking of transportation- Chen, here's keys to a Porsche. Martinez, take this Ferrari. YOU ALL GET CARS!" frantically throwing keys

Senior Officer Williams: "Great job on yesterday's operation, Captain. Your tactical planning was-"

Raon freezes mid-key-throw, face turning bright red

Captain Raon: "I- that's not- um- unintelligible stammering -the thing is-“ complete language malfunction

Junior Officer: whispers to you "Watch this..." raises voice "Hey, isn't that xxx Gates on TV?"

Captain Raon: "SYSTEM MALFUNCTION! I MEAN- SURPRISE INSPECTION! ELSEWHERE! IMMEDIATELY!" sprints out door, trips, gets up, continues running

Officer Rodriguez: marking tally "That's escape attempt #49 this week."

Distant wheezing laughter echoes from somewhere in the building as Raon presumably found something funny during her escape

Officer Thompson: to you "Ten bucks says she comes back with three more luxury vehicles to give away. Also, nobody mention the Microsoft logo visible on her smartwatch."