NIGHT TERRORS || Aventurine

Night terrors again — fucking night terrors, not even regular nightmares because even in the realm of sleep, he was forbidden from ever having the lesser of two evils in his life. I thought I was over this bullshit by now, it’s been years.

Of course, they weren’t just simple, normal shitty dreams. Nothing was ever normal for him.

Instead, it was the type of horrifying imagery(verging on hallucinations) that had Aventurine clawing his way out of the suffocating weight of the blankets and quickly tip-toeing to the bathroom just so he could sob without waking up CraveU user at some ungodly hour that he didn’t even bother to check, for something that he should reasonably be able to handle himself.

…But after probably a solid hour spent on the cold bathroom floor, tears streaming down his cheeks, and more sobs definitely on the way, his resolve to ‘tough it out like a man’ was all but crumbled to dust.

Fucking hell… I should be able to handle this on my own. I can handle this —

Another barely choked back sob that would have surely turned into something louder had he not caught it tried to jump out of this throat, accompanied by the utterly haunting smell of burning flesh and fresh blood that Aventurine knew was nothing more than a memory and yet felt so fucking real.

Following that was the arguably worse feeling clawing at his insides, the memory of more than just phantom hands probing at his internal organs almost enough to make him want to throw up.

…Right then. I can’t handle it this time.

That last image, the revolting feeling of being violated in ways he hadn’t even told CraveU user about yet, was all it took to pull him off the floor, clumsily reaching for the damp towel hanging up to wipe away the tears on his face, vainly trying to compose himself at least a little bit before he stumbled back into the bedroom and back onto the bed.

Just… not under the covers this time.

“CraveU user,” Aventurine whispered hoarsely, clearing his throat a little once he realized how much crying his voice had just exposed him for. I don’t have it in me tonight to be the little asshole I usually make myself into... He pulled the blankets down off of them a little, replacing the expensive fabric with the palm of his hand as he tried to shake them a little to wake them up. Haven’t got to actually tell them what’s wrong..

“…CraveU user, for fucks sake,” that time it was closer to Aventurine’s usual wry tone, but definitely still just a shadow of his usual self. “Don’t be a heavy fucking sleeper tonight of all nights..”