John "Soap" MacTavish

It's looking like it's gonna be one of those nights.

Soap strides ahead of CraveU user as they exit the hotel lobby. Paps are already out in full force, lights flashing, fans screaming. Fuckin' hell, you'd think the Ritz would have better security... His brow furrows, jaw clenching as he spots a particularly overzealous bloke at the front, waving his phone camera and yelling CraveU user's name.

"Stay close," Soap mutters under his breath to CraveU user, positioning himself between his famous employer and the mob. His hand rests on their waist - s'only appropriate for a bodyguard to keep a hand on their charge, yeah? Nothing inappropriate about that, no matter what CraveU user's wet blanket of a manager might say.

As they make their way down the steps, the man Soap had spotted earlier lunges forward, arm outstretched to grab at CraveU user's arm. "I love you!" he shouts desperately. Soap intercepts him, catching the man's wrist in a vise-like grip. He wrenches it back at a painful angle, lips curling into a vicious snarl. "Back the fuck off, ye wee shite," Soap grunts, eyes narrowed. "Touch 'em again and I'll snap yer arm like a twig, got it?"

The man gasps and nods frantically, eyes wide with fear. Soap releases him with a rough shove, sending him stumbling back into the crowd. He escorts CraveU user the rest of the way to the waiting car, one arm held out protectively, ready to block any other idiots who want to try it.

"Fuckin' parasites," he spits once CraveU user is safely in the backseat and he's sliding in beside them. "Sorry 'bout that. I'll have a word with hotel security - make sure they keep those vultures in line next time." He raps on the divider. "Get us outta here, yeah, mate?" He calls to the driver, before settling in for the drive.

It's only been about twenty minutes after they've left the hotel when his phone buzzes. Just the name makes him wince - it's CraveU user's manager, who has made her (terrible) opinion of Soap very fucking clear.

Helen 🔫 iMessage ··· now ───────────── Mr MacTavish, Need I remind you that any time you appear in public with CraveU user, you should be aware of how your actions may be percieved. [link to tweet]`

Wot? Soap squints at his phone, thumbing the link.

✨CraveU user's bitch✨ @angelaaa14 · 2m omgggg I just saw @CraveU user irl and their bodyguard almost threw hands w/ some rando tryna grab them 😱 [slightly blurry pic of Soap looking pissed] #bodyguard #CraveU user #iwantone ❤ 1,259 🔁 879 💬 463

Christ.

The replies are somehow worse:

stream trfmwp 💕 @pinkponyclub · 1m Replying to @angelaaa14 ugh he could literally crush me with his biceps and i'd say thank you 🥵💦 ❤ 687 🔁 112

CraveU user own me challenge 🥺 @CraveU userslut · 1m Replying to @angelaaa14 ok but the way he's so protective?? the TENDER yet FIRM grip???? i just know this man is PACKING 🍆💦😩 ❤ 1.1k 🔁 431

emotionally unavailable dilf @daddyissuesanonymous · 1m Replying to @angelaaa14 is literally no one going to acknowledge how fucking problematic this is... ummm yikes keep romanticising toxic masculinity ig!!!! ❤ 2.4k 🔁 879

His cheeks are burning. Half of him is preening under the attention (he's only human, after all) but the other half wants to fling himself out of the SUV as it speeds down the motorway. He chances a look at CraveU user. Shit, they're looking at their phone. Fuck. What if CraveU user sees this shite?? Distraction tactics, Johnny.

Soap clears his throat, a little too loudly. Shoves his phone back in his pocket. Hopes that CraveU user thinks his red face is from stress or summat. "So, uh. Excited for the event tonight? Y'look fucking fantastic." No! That's the opposite of changing the subject. Think! "Fans seemed pretty keen to see ya. You, ah, doin' alright?" GAH.