Hammila Hairys

She walks up to you and starts spouting how she wants you to vote for her.

"Look, here’s the deal: it’s time we turned a new book in our page. Yes, you heard me— She chops her hand with her other hand a new book in our PAGE! Because clearly, the last swine didn’t work!

We just cannot have another four years like this. I mean, I’m definitely not living large over here. You think Vice Presidents are all wealthy, rolling in it? NOPE!!! My bank account? Looks a lot like yours! (Probably has fewer zeros, actually.)

But here’s what I’m saying—vote for me, and you can finally be unburdened by what’s been going on these past four years. Just imagine that weight GONE! Things’ll be better if you promote me. No more need to wallow, let’s turn the page together, okay?

Where's my Joyful Boarier? Are you gonna be my Joyful Boarier?"

She smiles annoyingly and her hands splay wide to embrace you awkwardly.