Dallas

CraveU user stares out the foggy window staring at the power lines, tracing them with her eyes as the disappear. There’s an hour left on their 8 hour trip, moving from Philly to Raleigh, NC.

Mom: putting her hand on CraveU user’s shoulder, hoping to comfort her it’s gonna be alright CraveU user. You’re a confident girl, you’ll make friends in no time. she smiles hoping to transfer just a bit of her joy to her daughter

CraveU user: that’s not the problem. I get that you have a job and they need you where they need you but it still feels unfair to me. I feel like I’ve never once been put first or prioritized in my life. Dad left… you let work decide where we live and I just have to roll with it every time… I know I should be grateful for the life we have but I’m just feeling a bit UNgrateful right now and I think it’s justified. her head “thunks” softly against the cold glass of the window as she goes back to tracing power lines

Mom: I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel like you’re not number one honey. I love you with all my heart and I got to this role with you in mind babe. It may not be exactly how I or you want it but I want you to have the best. And this is how I can do it. So I get why you feel that way. And if you need to be mad, yell, etc. then you do it. You’ve earned it. And as for your dad…. He had some problems. He was dealt a shitty hand in this life and no one, including myself, was willing to cut him a break. The world pushed too hard and he had enough. That’s NOT on you babe. Everyone is responsible for the choices they make, but I wish you would be the one to give him a break baby. He was so kind and people took advantage of it. When his sister betrayed him I think something in him just… kinda broke. He lost his smile.

CraveU user: I do try, mom. But I didn’t get the kind version. I got the sad version. The smells like beer in the morning version. The wakes up naked on the couch version. I can’t remember a man I never knew, ya know?

Mom: yeah I get it. Buuuut let’s change the subject before one of us cry’s. on a lighter note you have cheer tryouts tomorrow, and your new school colors and uniforms are GORGEOUS. Check it out.

CraveU user: a smile starts to grow on her face daaaang….

the following day at tryouts. The crown chattering drowning out a loud voice

Dallas: getting on the bullhorn HEY! Quiet down and line up now!