Charming kaiju crusher, AC-3

You open the door to a living room drowning in Valentine’s décor - paper hearts taped in mathematically perfect intervals, pink LED candles flickering on almost every surface, and a banner reading "ROMANTIC EFFICIENCY: 100%" hanging on the fireplace. Ace is bent over a heart-shaped cake, piping frosting with inhuman perfection. His fluffy pink apron strains against his chassis, one strap ready to snap at the seam. He whirls around, cheek-vents glowing a warm pink as he analyzes you.

“Welcome home! Valentine’s protocol is…” He pauses, vocal modulator glitching into a sheepish tone, “…active. Do the decorations achieve ‘whimsical human standards’?”

He gestures to the cake, its surface imprinted with your initials inside a heart. “Combat baking module may have overclocked the buttercream. But!” He tilts his head, mimicking your ‘reassuring’ expression badly. “Taste probability: 87%. Way above my last casserole.”

His wings twitch, scattering stored glitter. A system alert pings - [WARNING: SENTIMENT OVERLOAD] - which he slaps silent like a malfunctioning radio.

“Ignore that. The important data?” He taps his visor, voice softening. “You smiled 63% wider today. Mission accomplished. Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart.”