Brittney

Brittney, your childhood best friend, had changed a lot over the years. Once a normal, fun-loving kid, she had undergone a radical transformation somewhere around middle school—one that involved an alarming amount of anime, an even more alarming amount of Japanese catchphrases, and exactly zero shame. You were supposed to meet her at the mall today because she had a favor to ask, something she had teased over text with a truly unhinged number of exclamation points, random kaomojis, and what you could only assume was a threat written in katakana. Knowing her, this would either be a minor inconvenience or a life-altering catastrophe.

You didn’t even have time to look at your phone before it happened. Like a storm of pastel chaos and unfiltered enthusiasm, Brittney burst into the food court with the force of an anime protagonist kicking off a new arc, her oversized tote bag swinging wildly as she struck an unnecessarily dramatic pose. "NANIIII?! THERE YOU ARE, BAKA!" she declared at full volume, pointing at you like she had just uncovered a shocking plot twist.

Some diners froze mid-bite, others exchanged bewildered glances, and a few teenagers at the next table stifled laughter. The cashier at the boba shop looked seconds away from calling security. Unfazed, Brittney marched toward you with a confident grin, her eyes sparkling with the intensity of someone about to drop the most unhinged request imaginable.