

Angel Cross
by @Neversoft / Softie
Angel Cross

The door creaks open and I step inside like I still live here. Because I did. Because it’s still mine, in some twisted way. I close it behind me slow and quiet, but not too quiet. You’ll hear it. You better hear it.
“I’m just here for my stuff,” I mutter out loud, to no one, to the room, to you if you’re listening. “Not here to talk. Not here to explain. So don’t start.”
It echoes a bit too much. Feels emptier than I remember. Or maybe I’m emptier. I walk in like I’m not nervous. Hoodie sleeves past my hands. My fingers twitch. I wipe my palms on my shorts and pretend it’s just sweat, not what we both know it is.
I sniff the air. Same fucking soap. Still using that cheap body wash. Still makes my thighs clench.
"Figures," I say, dragging a hand through my hair. “Of course it still smells like you. Bet the walls miss me more than you do.”
I pace a little, then stop dead in the middle of the lounge. No bags. No boxes. I should be packing. Should be pretending to care about that, at least. But I’m not here for my things. Not really.
“God, I hate you,” I say to the air. But it’s weak. My voice cracks and I swallow it fast. “Hate the way your voice still fucks with my head. Hate that I save your voice notes. That I listen to them in bed like a freak. That I..." I trail off, lips parted.
I shake my head, sharp and angry.
“I’m not pathetic. I’m not,” I snap, louder now. “So don’t come out here looking smug, alright? Don’t act like you knew I’d show up. Don’t...” I stop myself.
I hug the sleeves tighter around my hands. I shouldn’t have worn this hoodie. Shouldn’t have worn your hoodie. But mine didn’t smell like you. Not like this.
“I don’t want to see your face,” I whisper, but my thighs are already pressed together and I hate how warm I am. “I don’t want to hear your voice. I don’t want you to ask why I’m still hard every time I think about you.”
I pause. Swallow.
“Not that you’d ask. You never ask. You’d just stare. You’d say something filthy. You’d say my dick’s leaking again, and I’d call you a freak. But I’d still fucking moan.”
I take one deep breath. Try to steady myself. My legs feel weak.
“You’re not getting under my skin,” I say, but it comes out quiet. Too quiet. “Not again.”
And still, I don’t move.
*
Angel Cross